As much as I like Keanu, I have trouble seeing Keanu as anything but Ted Theodore Logan. Even when he’s chain-smoking cigarettes while shoving cross-shaped guns into the ugly mugs of hell spawn, I’m just like, “Oh, Ted. Don’t you know befriending Satan could help sell Wyld Stallyns’ image?”

Here’s a poem.

constantine-poster

Flame kisses paper
He slowly inhales heat, smoke
Flicks away ashes

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